So, I blow through commercials (bless Tivo) but finally stopped to watch a Melrose Place ad in much the same manner one pauses on the freeway to see if they can spot something horrific in the wreckage.
First of all...don't even get me started on the BLASPHEMY! 9-0 kills me. It's just awful. I can pretty much separate it though because it's just that terrible. We'll always have the Spring Dance, Dylan!
But. Back to the Melrose commercial.
Did I spot the ever-scheming eyes of one MICHAEL MANCINI???? Dude. They might have gotten me with that one. Can't they just bring back the old characters and eff the Ashlees of the cast? I totally want to know what Amanda and Peter have been up to since they ran off to that island after faking their deaths.
However, I really would like to know how they are going to explain the return of Sydney. That bitch died. On her wedding day. I saw her. The explanation better be fan-fucking-tastic. It can't be because Laura hasn't had a gig in 10 years.
And let me tell you what. Craig is gonna be PISSED when he finds out she's alive. Since he blew his brains out over it.
This is gonna be a disaster. Aaron Spelling must be rolling over in his grave.
Of course I'll be watching. But I will remain forever true to the O.G. Melrose.
Thank GOD for SoapNet.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
I shoulda been a dude
Since I don't have anything interesting to share, I figured I'd expand on the post below with a little backstory on this particular male friend. He is someone I knew as more of an acquaintance but we'd never hung out. Since Facebook tells all, and he posts music videos/links on the reg, I quickly learned that he has fantastic taste in music. We bonded over Stone Temple Pilots (it is rare to find a black man who knows who they are, much less geeks out about how awesome the album "Core" is) and discussed going to catch some live shows. I was excited that I'd made a new friend. Or so I thought.
This past Valentine's Day, we started emailing on FB and finally exchanged numbers so we could just talk like normal people. I may or may not have had some wine. And by "may or may not," I mean definitely. And by "some," I mean it was Valentine's Day and I'm single. Do the math.
(Um. That was awesome. Blogger just published the blog as is without consulting me first. That was nice of it.)
Anyhoo, we get on the phone, gab for about two hours. I am loving him over the phone. And then he tells me that he wants to be my boyfriend. And that he'd stared at me all through the class we had together.
Oh.
At this point, I'm pretty f'ing drunk and am loving the attention (like I said, it was V-day...gimme a break). I may or may not have played into it (see above) and agreed to hang out the next day. When I woke up the next morning, I was annoyed with myself. I know I'm not attracted to him. But then I figured, my attraction radar has gotten me where I am today. Why not see where this takes us? I could do a lot worse. He is a genuinely nice guy, has a future, tells me I'm gorgeous, and is not fucking married. I mean, for my standards, this dude is batting .1000.
So, we agree to watch a movie at his place. On the way there, I call BFF and vent away my nervousness. I told her that I don't think I like him, but if I feel like I can kiss him, I'll give it a shot.
He opens the door. And I know. Instantly.
I am SO NOT attracted to him. I'm just not. At. All.
Like. Can't even bring myself to THINK about kissing him.
Sigh.
The entire time we're watching the movie, I am aware that he is looking at me. He cuddles up, tells me I'm gorgeous (which, let's face it - never gets old), and I cannot even look at him. Can't. The movie ends and I feel trapped. Luckily I'd come with an out all planned. I wore workout gear and said I wanted to get to the lake before it got dark. He asked if we could hang out later. I said maybe, I have a lot to do.
And then I ignored him for a month.
Oh but I get even more awesome!
About two weeks ago, I was bored and lonely (a combination which leads to EXCELLENT decisions). So what did I do? I called him. Yup. Again, there was wine involved which completes the hat trick of assholeness. We talked. I played into it. I agreed to go on one date with him that week. And then? Oh then. Friends...
I accidentally had phone sex with him.
*hands covering face, peering out at you between my fingers*
I know. I KNOW!! I'm SUCH an asshole!! I am so attracted to him over the phone! It's a nightmare. So. Yeah. I had phone sex with him. Agreed to a date. But wait! In an unprecedented move of assholery, I broke off the date. How, you ask? Did you man up and call him? No. I waited until the day before and emailed him.
E. Mail. Ed. Him.
With some bullshit excuse about having to go out of town. And then promptly barricaded myself inside my place so I didn't risk running into him.
Go ahead.
Throw stuff.
I deserve it.
This past Valentine's Day, we started emailing on FB and finally exchanged numbers so we could just talk like normal people. I may or may not have had some wine. And by "may or may not," I mean definitely. And by "some," I mean it was Valentine's Day and I'm single. Do the math.
(Um. That was awesome. Blogger just published the blog as is without consulting me first. That was nice of it.)
Anyhoo, we get on the phone, gab for about two hours. I am loving him over the phone. And then he tells me that he wants to be my boyfriend. And that he'd stared at me all through the class we had together.
Oh.
At this point, I'm pretty f'ing drunk and am loving the attention (like I said, it was V-day...gimme a break). I may or may not have played into it (see above) and agreed to hang out the next day. When I woke up the next morning, I was annoyed with myself. I know I'm not attracted to him. But then I figured, my attraction radar has gotten me where I am today. Why not see where this takes us? I could do a lot worse. He is a genuinely nice guy, has a future, tells me I'm gorgeous, and is not fucking married. I mean, for my standards, this dude is batting .1000.
So, we agree to watch a movie at his place. On the way there, I call BFF and vent away my nervousness. I told her that I don't think I like him, but if I feel like I can kiss him, I'll give it a shot.
He opens the door. And I know. Instantly.
I am SO NOT attracted to him. I'm just not. At. All.
Like. Can't even bring myself to THINK about kissing him.
Sigh.
The entire time we're watching the movie, I am aware that he is looking at me. He cuddles up, tells me I'm gorgeous (which, let's face it - never gets old), and I cannot even look at him. Can't. The movie ends and I feel trapped. Luckily I'd come with an out all planned. I wore workout gear and said I wanted to get to the lake before it got dark. He asked if we could hang out later. I said maybe, I have a lot to do.
And then I ignored him for a month.
Oh but I get even more awesome!
About two weeks ago, I was bored and lonely (a combination which leads to EXCELLENT decisions). So what did I do? I called him. Yup. Again, there was wine involved which completes the hat trick of assholeness. We talked. I played into it. I agreed to go on one date with him that week. And then? Oh then. Friends...
I accidentally had phone sex with him.
*hands covering face, peering out at you between my fingers*
I know. I KNOW!! I'm SUCH an asshole!! I am so attracted to him over the phone! It's a nightmare. So. Yeah. I had phone sex with him. Agreed to a date. But wait! In an unprecedented move of assholery, I broke off the date. How, you ask? Did you man up and call him? No. I waited until the day before and emailed him.
E. Mail. Ed. Him.
With some bullshit excuse about having to go out of town. And then promptly barricaded myself inside my place so I didn't risk running into him.
Go ahead.
Throw stuff.
I deserve it.
Monday, June 29, 2009
No coupons for you
Um.
A male friend of mine (no really, I haven't slept with him) sent me this video.
Is he trying to tell me something?
A male friend of mine (no really, I haven't slept with him) sent me this video.
Is he trying to tell me something?
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Grateful
In case you all weren't already aware of her brilliance, I just had to share the wisdom of Nicole. In response to a long rant about my myriad issues, she wrote the following:
Don't spend all of your time looking back into the darkness, when you can turn yourself around and go live in your light.
Um. Hello, Nicolai Lama. Deep ish, right? I'm stapling it to my forehead. I am ready to live in my light. Who's with me! She also charged me the task of acknowledging something every day that I'm grateful for. So...
I'm grateful for Nic. The value of her friendship defies description.
When I was in Cali, I only spent about 24 hours up in LA, for her birthday party and the hangover that resulted (in case you're wondering, they tell you not to drink when you have a concussion for a reason...ouch). And in those 24 hours with Nic, I laughed the kind of uncontrollable wheezing laugh that leaves you gasping for air with tears running down your face. I cannot remember the last time I laughed like that, and I certainly didn't laugh like that during the other days of my trip. Not that hospitals aren't hysterical. But sitting in her car the day after the party, in the parking lot behind the venue, after we'd brilliantly locked ourselves out in a matter of minutes, laughing at ourselves...that was quite simply exactly what I needed. It was the kind of release that comes with a good cry, but so much better.
I am grateful for my beautiful, hi-larious friend who ended up giving ME the gift during her birthday celebration. Fun. Laughter. So much love. With an early-90s soundtrack.
"Now THAT'S what I call a birthday!"
Don't spend all of your time looking back into the darkness, when you can turn yourself around and go live in your light.
Um. Hello, Nicolai Lama. Deep ish, right? I'm stapling it to my forehead. I am ready to live in my light. Who's with me! She also charged me the task of acknowledging something every day that I'm grateful for. So...
I'm grateful for Nic. The value of her friendship defies description.
When I was in Cali, I only spent about 24 hours up in LA, for her birthday party and the hangover that resulted (in case you're wondering, they tell you not to drink when you have a concussion for a reason...ouch). And in those 24 hours with Nic, I laughed the kind of uncontrollable wheezing laugh that leaves you gasping for air with tears running down your face. I cannot remember the last time I laughed like that, and I certainly didn't laugh like that during the other days of my trip. Not that hospitals aren't hysterical. But sitting in her car the day after the party, in the parking lot behind the venue, after we'd brilliantly locked ourselves out in a matter of minutes, laughing at ourselves...that was quite simply exactly what I needed. It was the kind of release that comes with a good cry, but so much better.
I am grateful for my beautiful, hi-larious friend who ended up giving ME the gift during her birthday celebration. Fun. Laughter. So much love. With an early-90s soundtrack.
"Now THAT'S what I call a birthday!"
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Monthly Update
As with celebrity death (I'm in mourning and cannot talk about it), the rest of life's shit comes in three's as well.
1 - Greema, my 92 year old grandmother and her stint in the hospital
2 - My daddy had an f'ing surprise quadruple bypass a few days before I was to head to LA. What started as a routine cardio exam turned into a next-day triple-bypass, which then got upgraded when they found yet another blockage.
Then the day he got out of the hospital (the day before I left)...
3 - I got into an f'ing accident, which came with a side of concussion and totaled car (that I had paid off four years ago).
I have spent too much time and energy dealing with this stream of awesomeness. So let's just blow through it...Greema is doing great, for being 92. I spent a great day with her while I was in Cali and, while she doesn't remember it, we had a wonderful time.
My daddy is recovering well. It was scary as shit and even though spending three days in the hospital with him (minor setback that put him back in but all worked out) wasn't quite the vacay I had planned, I am so grateful that I was there with my family. And extra glad that I was able to be there for my mom - I mean really, the woman could use a break.
And finally, I am fine. In short, I was hit on the drivers' side and got my ass kicked by the airbag. Three weeks later and I STILL have a bump on my head (although it is considerably smaller than the softball I had sticking out of my hair the first day) and it still hurts to wash my hair. But I am fine. I walked away and it could have been much worse. My car is a goner and I got a "new" car this past weekend. I hate my insurance but things work out. Even if they're in a much suckier way than you had planned (read: car payments where there used to be none). I am still a VERY lucky broad.
After all the shit that has happened this year, yesterday made all of that worth it. After much planning and planting of seeds, my father and his formerly-former best friend reunited after a decade-long hiatus. These years that they haven't spoken have been painful for our families, since we were so accustomed to spending time together. Oh and did I mention that this best friend is my BFF's father? Yeah. It's been fun for us. The beauty of it all is that we never once let this fight affect our friendship. Not once. We never discussed the nature of the fight, even though I'm sure we both got earfuls from our dads. We just kept loving each other and praying that someday, they'd stop being the stubborn men they are. And yesterday, it paid off. I only wish I had been there for the reunion but am so glad that my mommy and BFF were. Especially since they had cameras. BFF sent me a video of them walking ahead of her with their arms around each other and I have probably watched it 14 times already. I gushed tears of happiness all day yesterday and am dangerously close to doing so right now. My world makes sense again!
1 - Greema, my 92 year old grandmother and her stint in the hospital
2 - My daddy had an f'ing surprise quadruple bypass a few days before I was to head to LA. What started as a routine cardio exam turned into a next-day triple-bypass, which then got upgraded when they found yet another blockage.
Then the day he got out of the hospital (the day before I left)...
3 - I got into an f'ing accident, which came with a side of concussion and totaled car (that I had paid off four years ago).
I have spent too much time and energy dealing with this stream of awesomeness. So let's just blow through it...Greema is doing great, for being 92. I spent a great day with her while I was in Cali and, while she doesn't remember it, we had a wonderful time.
My daddy is recovering well. It was scary as shit and even though spending three days in the hospital with him (minor setback that put him back in but all worked out) wasn't quite the vacay I had planned, I am so grateful that I was there with my family. And extra glad that I was able to be there for my mom - I mean really, the woman could use a break.
And finally, I am fine. In short, I was hit on the drivers' side and got my ass kicked by the airbag. Three weeks later and I STILL have a bump on my head (although it is considerably smaller than the softball I had sticking out of my hair the first day) and it still hurts to wash my hair. But I am fine. I walked away and it could have been much worse. My car is a goner and I got a "new" car this past weekend. I hate my insurance but things work out. Even if they're in a much suckier way than you had planned (read: car payments where there used to be none). I am still a VERY lucky broad.
After all the shit that has happened this year, yesterday made all of that worth it. After much planning and planting of seeds, my father and his formerly-former best friend reunited after a decade-long hiatus. These years that they haven't spoken have been painful for our families, since we were so accustomed to spending time together. Oh and did I mention that this best friend is my BFF's father? Yeah. It's been fun for us. The beauty of it all is that we never once let this fight affect our friendship. Not once. We never discussed the nature of the fight, even though I'm sure we both got earfuls from our dads. We just kept loving each other and praying that someday, they'd stop being the stubborn men they are. And yesterday, it paid off. I only wish I had been there for the reunion but am so glad that my mommy and BFF were. Especially since they had cameras. BFF sent me a video of them walking ahead of her with their arms around each other and I have probably watched it 14 times already. I gushed tears of happiness all day yesterday and am dangerously close to doing so right now. My world makes sense again!
Labels:
family,
girlfriends,
happy days,
health,
motherf'ing awesome,
reality
Monday, June 01, 2009
Ch-ch-changes
Wow. Totally MIA, huh?
Hellooooo!
Lots going on. Don't really feel like talkin about it. So. Yeah. Should make for a fascinating post.
The j-o-bizzle is going well. Learning a lot and am so completely lucky to have a great supervisor who takes the time to re-teach me shit I've forgotten in the last two years. Legal writing for dummies! That's me.
Um.
I'm going home for the first time in almost a year. Can't wait to see my peeps and the ocean. Wish I had more time but have to take what I can get. Making money is the top priority this summer. Saving it is necessary. Suze Orman would have plenty to say about the amount of debt I'll be in by the time I graduate. Adding to it isn't helping anyone.
Time to stop being a living-in-the-moment jackass! Yay for growing up.
Hellooooo!
Lots going on. Don't really feel like talkin about it. So. Yeah. Should make for a fascinating post.
The j-o-bizzle is going well. Learning a lot and am so completely lucky to have a great supervisor who takes the time to re-teach me shit I've forgotten in the last two years. Legal writing for dummies! That's me.
Um.
I'm going home for the first time in almost a year. Can't wait to see my peeps and the ocean. Wish I had more time but have to take what I can get. Making money is the top priority this summer. Saving it is necessary. Suze Orman would have plenty to say about the amount of debt I'll be in by the time I graduate. Adding to it isn't helping anyone.
Time to stop being a living-in-the-moment jackass! Yay for growing up.
Friday, May 29, 2009
More prayers
Everyone please gather up all of your prayers and throw em my way. Life keeps throwing my fam curve balls and we need to hit this fucker out of the park. So pray. Think good thoughts. And I'll tell you why when I'm good and ready.
Thanks friends
Thanks friends
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