The Good, The Bad and the GODDAMNRACCOONISBACK

Yes. The roommate in the attic is back. I'm fourteen seconds from poking my eyes out because I'm so exhausted, I can't see straight. I hosted a bachelorette party this weekend and was SO excited to crawl into bed last night after being girly for an entire 50-something hours...and then at 5am, Asshole McGee starts roaming around the walls. I can't even get into it because I had a full blown meltdown. Well. Several.
First one at 5:45am on the phone with the Mans. I texted him something about it being "back in the attic" and his sleepy brain turned that into "I've been attacked"...oops. I honestly hadn't meant to wake him but managed to both wake him up and scare the shit out of him. I'm awesome. Once I told him what was happening, I just burst into tears. He soothed me, made me laugh, and I fell back asleep. For another hour. Until it started again. Then my neighbor called at 8:15, which started an entire day of doorbells ringing with pointless inspections, on the phone with everyone and their fucking mother, fits of crying in between trying to get my effing work done...and then I realized that I needed help. I have too much to do and trying to shoulder this ridiculous situation on top of it was just counterproductive. Enter my parents. Who are so wonderful. Threatening phone calls and emails, complete with lawyer contact info. Hopefully this shit will go away soon. In the meantime, I am going to be one ridiculously cranky bitch. Who, by the way, still has work to do tonight. Hate. School. Over. It. So close. Yet so fucking far.
Anyway, the silver lining/light at the end/moment that is keeping me sane in the midst of this shitstorm...is that said Mans is coming to see me in a month. Sigh. Yay. A bitch just needs a hug, y'know? This also means that he will be meeting the parents.
Um. So. This has happened VERY rarely in the past and I have not brought a man into my parents' presence since 2001. You read that right. It's been almost 9 years since I've admitted that I've dated anyone, much less introduced anyone to the two most important people in my life. Holy effing sheez. I guess it must seem fast, given that it's only been a few months of real dating. But it's not like we met in January...I've known him for years and we kind of hit the ground running, so to speak.
The fact that he will meet my father is exciting and terrifying and right, all at the same time. Lord help us all.
Sometimes I still can't believe I'm in a "relationship" and I still feel pretty ridiculous saying "boyfriend" but here I am. All boo'd up and moving forward.